As a black woman with herpes, you may find it more difficult to find men to date. Whether you have HSV-1 or 2, you want to be honest about it and share this information with any potential partner. But dating is a bit more difficult than simply chatting up that guy at the bar. It’s a bit more awkward, because you must have “that” conversation, before you get past the initial dating phase and into the romantic phase. Here are some dating tips for you.
1. Try a herpes dating site. This type of site eliminates that conversation you must have in public, the one about you having herpes, because your potential dates on the site have HSV-1 or 2 also. Most dating sites offer a free plan to start, so you can try them out and see if they’re right for you.
2. Remain positive. You have your herpes under control, and you know what to do if it turns active. It’s no big deal, so keep a smile on your face. Being glum about your condition is probably going to scare men away. And remaining positive is likely to attract other men who believe in living life positively too.
3. Seek an understanding partner. You may find men to date who have HSV also, or you may find a man who doesn’t care. He may have had an HSV partner in the past, and he’s willing to deal with it. He’s done his research, and knows all about it. An understanding partner will also be willing take a break from the romance for a week or two, until an outbreak clears up.
4. Be knowledgeable. You may have to answer a lot of questions from potential dates who don’t know a lot about HSV-1 and 2. Be sure to get the facts right, as you’re playing teacher in this instance and don’t want to deceive or give them incorrect information. After all, his health and his future partner’s health may depend on it.
5. Be honest. You’ll need to tell any romantic interests as soon as you can that you have herpes. If it grosses him out, then you’re not going to want a partner like that. If it doesn’t bother him, or he also has herpes, you’re going to wonder why you didn’t hook up sooner. You’ll also know that you’re better for it, as chances are whoever gave you herpes never told you about it.
6. Be ready to accept a no. You’ve been honest with your date and disclosed that you have herpes. But since he doesn’t, he may be worried and tell you no. While it may hurt a bit at first, particularly if he’s a great guy, you’ll have to learn to accept his decision and move on.
Herpes dating has its challenges, but one day you may find the perfect man who’s not only understanding, but kind and generous too. Keep up your dating efforts and good luck!